1. |
A Really Bad Intro
04:41
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P44
Hi kids, do you like silence?
Good, ‘cos Con and I are about to spit everything that we haven’t done for the last five years,
So grab a couple light beers,
And use them to open of a couple of nine percent belgian white beers,
CON
I've been right here (where?) ya side mirror, (yeah!)
closer than I appear go ahead and try steer,
I just got a tattoo parlour artist for my ass with small instructions written in slavic translating to 'bite here'
P44
We didn’t write raps for sixteen years or more,
To not bring back your grandparents blitzkrieg fears of yore,
We didn’t read like Orlando and shoot the shit like we’re Rambo,
To not make a verse hectic as splitscreen Gears of War,
Didn’t give shit for years to get constipated now,
Didn’t disable the mute setting not to make a sound,
Didn’t fan the flames of conflict just to drown em out,
Didn’t bulldoze the fork in the road to take a roundabout,
CON
We didn't take ya cake to not drop sweet shit out our mouths,
n run naked w ur kids birthday presents out ur house,
didn't cause a power outtage on stage with out allowing
to pack a couple of strepsils n just attempt to shout it louder,
didn't say what I feel for ppl not to feel what I say,
didnt enter minds w rhymes to not peel ya brain,
didn't offend every culture not to earn us some fatwas,
and be carried off before the next verse of this track starts,
P44
I didn’t become an asshole in prep school and turn out smart and successful,
To go back to being harmless and gentle just to assuage the parentals,
If it means fulfilling half my potential, mumble mumble something mental
And another pretzel…
Do we look like the type to grab our nice shirt, write a really fucking white verse,
Like dear diary, yesterday I went rock climbing, then met some really nice girls,
Over free trade coffee and some iceberg, lettuce,
To discuss my mate’s Thai girl fetish,
CON
Sat at starbucks for 5 hours discussing 9/11
And how Trumps gonna fix it, then I ate hundreds of biscuits
And previously drowned out people should leave that water under their bridges
Drank some espresso martinis and watched alice in wonderland
Appropriated a culture I didn't fully understand
Invest in some stocks just to get off this bender and unwind
While I fill up my pipe and then gentrify Sunshine
P44
They say drive it like you stole it,
I say drive it like that shit belong to your ex’s dad and he extra mad,
Hit eject when the cop approach with a pen and pad,
Better land back in fkn Leningrad,
Tell Donald Trump that I came to fix the gender gap,
Plaster Brock Turner’s rapist face with a massive Brock Lesnar tatt,
Castrate every meninist and islamophobe screaming terrorist,
They fuckwits, no need for subscript or parenthesis,
They asking where I got the cookery from,
Fuck else you gonna do when the cookies are gone,
Better that than Croydon girls, hoodie and thongs,
Been bathing in the same fake tan cesspool Snooki was born,
Preggers at seventeen, can’t tell the kid from a can of shit,
But their Instagram is lit,
Well fuck that, can’t even babysit,
Chances so remote you’d switch the cable with
CON
Wellllll my name's Conny G and I'm versatile
I will raise the roof, then verse a tile
Tight with the rhymes with a perfect style
Hand right on the mic make it worth your while
Earn the smiles and guaranteed encores
Til the fellas drop jaws and the ladies drop more
I can get down like I got no flaws
But ya better watch out or we might lock horns
I can count to three in japanese, but what four?
When I get an itchy knee son, I'll give ya what's for!
I'll throw your watch on the roof, just to take up your time
I'll stick mascara in your ear, just to make up your mind
Ya girl cried when I gave her the world's best moisturiser
I said u haven't even opened it and look how moist your eyes are
Try to hit me a ham handed comment, I ate that
Try to hit me with a 2 by 4, I eight that
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2. |
Animal Orchestra
03:39
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P44
Back in the day, been the crocodile king since I rocked the chorus,
Rolling with the Wolf and the shark, what they called us,
Hill got on some werewolf shit like polymorphers,
Me and Steve turned into Mega Shark versus Crocosaurus,
Escaped from the shackles, raising my hackles,
Screw the year of the rabbit, this is the day of the jackal,
Bunch of shook ones, rattlesnake rappers,
Course you’re about to choke with a python round your throat,
On that Mufasa swag, please,
King of the jungle’s nothing to a wilderbeast stampede,
Snapping at your heels, giraffe type, head up in the clouds,
Wingspan of a pterosaur getting me around,
No time for earthworm rappers, left the underground,
It’d take a peregrine dive attack to get me down,
Graeme Baseing ya, Animalia, no baby pretensions,
Crazy eyes, ravenous, rabies infected,
CHORUS
Better hope they don’t send this jackal to slaughter ya,
Baboons on the bassoon, pelicans backing the chorus the,
Parrots are squawking, panthers flashing there claws as they’re,
Chopping up, sampling and scratching the formula,
Couple gorillas on the drum set, jamming the floor with a,
Flamingo in each hand, bet you have to applaud for the,
Kangaroo kick and elephant bass, having a ball with a,
Rapping marauderer, this is a fucking animal orchestra,
P44
I’m a lover not a fighter, but I’d love to be a fighter,
Never fight to be a lover, if I find her Ima fuck her,
And we’re lying under covers, I’m a lion under covers,
Say you ain’t enjoy yourself, then you’re lying undercovers,
2 birds in the bush? I can take seven at a time,
Parrot on my shoulder, 50 dead canaries in the mines,
Tigers prowling my roof, vultures circle my house,
Late night owls on the booze, and the circus is out,
Bunch of monkeys in the backyard, flamingos in my bed,
And there’s a shisha pipe and a flock of emus in my head,
I ain’t need to cut the grass to see the snakes, cos there’s a great,
Big anaconda curled up on my lawn in a figure 8,
Figures mate, hear no, see no, speak no evil,
Planet of the apes right before the animals escape,
Sailing on the seas with an albatross’ gait,
Navigating straight through a category 8, fuck slamming on the brakes,
CHORUS
Better hope they don’t send this jackal to slaughter ya,
Baboons on the bassoon, pelicans backing the chorus the,
Parrots are squawking, panthers flashing there claws as they’re,
Chopping up, sampling and scratching the formula,
Couple gorillas on the drum set, jamming the floor with a,
Flamingo in each hand, bet you have to applaud for the,
Kangaroo kick and elephant bass, having a ball with a,
Rapping marauderer, this is a fucking animal orchestra.
CON
Givin ya raw fish when i pen my rappin
I’m a mythical norse squid how i get it kraken
Smackin camels right out when i spit on em
9 rounds to make tigers crouch, when i sit on em
Gimme Ritalin when I step proud I’m a rhinoceros
Better keep ya head down just like some ostriches
Flocks of kids want a flow, I’ll supply otters n
I don’t know if your girls a cow or I’m just lactose intolerant
But I’ll persist she wants to swallow it n she’s offerin
I said if you wanna be with me you know where the pollen is
Obvious she’s the hottest chick her eyes are lethal
I’m chasing the foxiest lady, coz I’m a beagle
N when she’s in my bed I’m beating my chest
Then find out she’s a sadist mantis coz she’s eating my head
Now I’m bleeding and dead just for a piece of the best
Damn, I shoulda gotten me some beaver instead
CHORUS
Better hope they don’t send this jackal to slaughter ya,
Baboons on the bassoon, pelicans backing the chorus the,
Parrots are squawking, panthers flashing there claws as they’re,
Chopping up, sampling and scratching the formula,
Couple gorillas on the drum set, jamming the floor with a,
Flamingo in each hand, bet you have to applaud for the,
Kangaroo kick and elephant bass, having a ball with a,
Rapping marauderer, this is a fucking animal orchestra.
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3. |
Never Have I Ever
03:37
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CHORUS (CON)
People you know I'd love to keep playing this game
But I'm getting shit-faced you guys are staying the same
Still the laughs are vast and the stories are getting wronger
We got draughts to last, so let's play a little longer
CON
Never have I ever – made an excuse to avoid weed
Taken a shit the opposite way on the toilet seat
Never have I ever Acted like a heartless bastard
Never have I ever Laughed so hard I sharted
Barfed onto a park bench, then kept scarfing lagers
Farted in front of ya father and passed out on ya armchair
Then woke up and acted clueless when ya mother's asking why her garden gnomes aren't there
- sorry mate some things aren't fair
Never have I ever – Got caught wanking in public
Or not gotten caught but still wanked in public
Nutted in her mouth when especially asked not to
“Wasn't she asleep?” well I can't promise that's not true
Never have I told a chick Germans are better lovers
Never have I ever Told a chick I'm allergic to rubbers
Never have I ever – barfed on a chicks muff
Never have I ever – fucked a dude's girl right after they split up
Never have I ever Played water sports, shaved along my balls
Paid for a whore, Played awful porn
Never have I ever Let Avril Lavine's album play on and on
Pissed off old Flannagan til he screamed stay off my lawn
Spiked the fuck out of my hair to try and be cool
Never have I ever - Started a fire in primary school
Enjoyed disney as an adult without alcoholic encouragement
Or made a mangina in the mirror for the fuck of it
CHORUS
People you know I'd love to keep playing this game
But I'm getting shit-faced you guys are staying the same
Still the laughs are vast and the stories are getting wronger
We got draughts to last, so let's play a little longer
Never have I ever played never have I ever with the express intent of impressing,
The next girl to get into her nethers,
Never have I ever gone extra on a bender,
Stacked my glasses on the bar and said I’m playing jenga
Never was I ever more ready to surrender,
My level-head agenda, than when I saw your sister getting nekid in the bed,
I never stood there with a semi in the centre of the room,
Then jetted when I blew/
Never have I ever told my boss that I was down with flu,
When I was sick on account of booze,
Never have I ever hacked Con’s facebook page,
Dissed his mum so his auntie’s called to make sure he’s ok/
Never have I ever had a girl on her rags around,
Left the tampon in, had sex, called it cat and mouse,
Never have I been confronted by a guy twice my size,
High off ice, and still ran my mouth.
CHORUS
People you know I'd love to keep playing this game
But I'm getting shit-faced you guys are staying the same
Still the laughs are vast and the stories are getting wronger
We got draughts to last, so let's play a little longer
P44
Never have I ever written a track, to get some shit off my back,
Published it, bitch out and had to quickly retract,
Never have I ever been sick in the sink of a flat,
Pissed on the mat and took a shit out the back
Never have I ever gotten to the end of a song,
Realised it went places it should never have gone,
But it’s late at night, things I did, can’t make ‘em right,
Forget it Con, you get it on, I’m off to revaluate my life,
CON
Never have I ever been abandoned in the booth from
a track that was meant to use -humour not facts -and just some rumours
Never have I blocked Sam when he hacked my facebook cunt
Told him I wasn't on facebook much masking my hate for a month
Never have I taken your recordings and changed them up
Revert your careful voice settings to the most basic ones
Never have I ever started a sentence with “I'm not racist but”
And never have I ever played this whilst making shit up
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4. |
War of The Words
03:31
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CON
Here to plant our flag on the land you once loved
Go pack ya bag and inform your loved ones
Make our mic gospel and leave yours unplugged
It's just us making your justice hush hush
Hired henchman with silent weapons
Using fixed lie detectors to reinterpret 911
What a fine collection to fight for vengeance
Your words get their just desserts with no time for seconds
The negotiations were but a formality
They knew we'd only accept more casualties
Casually causing a few million fatalities
Listing your victim's death cause as naturally
You had the law and the facts but we had the iller touch
Still won with nothing but lies and silver tongues
Our skill was such that your remaining populace
Were convinced that if it weren't for us they would not exist
Continue plotting nonsense as I bleed from my pen
Behead your ruler whilst taking a seat at his desk
Make you think we're acting on your needs and it's then
That the multis distract you from the evil intent
Chorus
Leer over the map as I write on my pad
DJ plans the best time to attack
Pack bag with tracks load rhymes in my mag
Jump out a trojan horse with my mic and my amp
Ride hi hats with a brigade of horsemen
Force our way in the cut and place informants
Words have a way of making you throw away ya caution
And reinvigorate your hate that was laying dormant
P44
I ain’t come far, guarantee that pen game has,
Since Norway gave me Magnus Carlsen endgame stats,
I shed back pack rap, when as a teen I fuckin ransacked that,
So fuck that man, you ochre twats can have that crap,
These days I talk mainly in hyperbole,
My vocab shows that I just finished my third degree,
Motor-mouth, showing off the circus freak,
Might expose the nerd in me, but who cares when you hit the beat this perfectly,
Big man in a small city, I got ‘em feeling all pissy,
These rappers can’t follow, let alone walk with me,
No hard life, this isn’t City of God,
Observational rap, do my best version of Phileas Fogg,
Rap like hell, heaven, Tartarus to pay,
Like I’m just trying to smooth talk Morgana le Fay,
Like I’m writing my last will before being John Carter’d away,
I’ll probably conquer Mars in a day,
Electric boogaloo, nah fuck that I ain’t doing no sequels,
We just trying to get through the people, something in tune with the Beatles,
Ain’t necessarily doing it peaceful, I’d rather smooth and deceitful,
Got your neighbours doing the foetal,
Rap in three languages, fuck would I slow it down for,
We’re a little past spitting bars here, call this a downpour,
And whether or not the weather left me weathered or not,
Never needed more words than the wordplay allowed for,
Since the Social Development made this language so elegant,
Be it rough and ready or candidly eloquent,
When you write this well there’s no need to embellish it,
You don’t buy it, so I got no intention of selling it,
I just wrote a soundtrack and injected myself in it,
Purpose in every bar, the hard part is improving on the state of the art,
It takes smarts, can’t rely on getting by being talented,
Whiter than ivory, so no need for addressing that elephant in the room,
Just assume, that we well and truly aware of it,
Couple middle-class white kids, handle the mic,
Like we Travolta hitting D-floors on a Saturday night,
They underestimate us, couple nerds, bump a verse and watch the room switch,
Give you something to move with,
Soothe with, groove with, open up the lube with,
Give you something you wanna pick up every girl in the room with,
Happy Hour was a long way from Battery Lane,
Conquest was a long way from the Con-P-Lation,
Hearing Things a long way from LAR back in the day,
Next album gonna stop the nation.
Chorus
Leer over the map as I write on my pad
DJ plans the best time to attack
Pack bag with tracks load rhymes in my mag
Jump out a trojan horse with my mic and my amp
Ride hi hats with a brigade of horsemen
Force our way in the cut and place informants
Words have a way of making you throw away ya caution
And reinvigorate your hate that was laying dormant
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5. |
Alive
05:02
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P44
Me and Con came up rapping as teens,
But never really stood up to put our stamp on the scene,
But other rappers hear it and now they’re packing their jeans,
Cos compared to us, they’re just Kardashian memes,
But now I feel like they got one past me,
‘Cos they making my Perth fam sound like Pearl Jam,
That deep shit, that beat mix it’s Robert marley,
Make these other clowns sad as Pagliacci, off the deep end,
But I ain’t just a bunch of pop culture quotes,
I came up on that bogan rap culture folks, no pretend,
My old group, one’s in jail trying to hold the soap,
Other one blow his entire bankroll on coke, on the weekend,
You’re just listening we’re hearing things it’s all in the pseudonym,
Made me wonder why they thought they brought the fire in the booth with em,
Came down from the mountain to sort the lies and the truth for them,
Here’s Spider Jerusalem.
CON
It's simple, we did it for fun and did it for us
Did it with - bitters and jugs and still feelin the rush
Didn't - give in to clubs or the frivolous cunts
Their impulse, mix it and plug then wish for the bucks
But don't, show that focus they need ritolin son
Or maybe a kodak moment, need an intimate hug
Don't need rap to score women or love, Why I'm still in my
Bedroom story as woody killin the buzz
And I know - we've said no-one is iller than us
- that was part truth and part optimistic as fuck
But to us, we hear old shit n still listen and laugh
Chose other paths but still not givin this up
That's why you, could strike a pose but never pose a threat
That's why we, strike a poser til their clothes are wrecked
I made this beat, better than the one you owe in debt
All whatever we wanna rap about and no regrets
CHORUS
Alive, we'd rather bleed if it means this art can be
Alive, from every artery to make a masterpiece
Alive, every part of me avoids the farce to be
Alive, at the heart of each bar keepin this heart is beatin'
CON
I have the good ideas and P knows how to moderate em
I have the shit frees and P tries to tolerate em
Get on a track and make it whatever we wanna make it
If you're filling someone else's idea you're not gonna make it
That's like thinking this track had to be emotional
My feelings are – nah fuck that yo grope my balls
Overall, your sober thoughts need an overhaul
Coz were over all your soapy performance of Oprah calls
P44
It’s that one shot, one opportunity, same song, get your game on,
But not one track minds, never picked one track to stay on,
And when we did, never stayed long,
Wished for fame, got talent, but no motivation,
It ain’t me, it ain’t Con,
It’s knowing you’re great, but don’t wanna take the stage to fail on,
And before you know it that stage gone, lights came on,
And you only live once, ain’t no James Bond,
But we say, non, j’etais pas ici pour l’attention,
On est vénus pour les chansons, et resté pour la chance, Con,
Et moi était contre la tendance, mais, quoi,
Fais-tu si ils penseront, c’est déjà vu,
Ils disent trés bon, et prochain moment, ils ont disparu,
Fuck it, we keep writing, reciting these lines ‘til it’s flame on,
Their temper short, ours yay long,
You think they want a renaissance,
Another Daddy Kane, Nas, Rakim, Raekwon?
They want someone to stage a ticker tape parade to rain on, with a hailstorm,
They want a maelstrom with which they wrought a war to wage on,
A pawn of war to waterboard and vent their pain on,
So fuck ‘em, we’ll stay in our lane long,
After they logged off and the day gone.
CON
We'll stay after the trend is ended and done with
And rendered their sentence and effort redundant
Our breath is dependant on trekking a path that is
There for a laugh but still endlessly arduous
Weren't there for the love but we get it regardless
Cept from our fathers, entering laughin
Out of my private recording session ya bastard
Ah shit, can hear him yelling in that last clip
End up recording with a massive echo in garages
With rap hands more awkward than tearing at bra clips
And handshakes that shouldn't have attempted to start with
About as cool as an Amish artisan’s armpit
Wir sagen zusammen, egal wie gefährlich,
Egal wenn die andern erklären es geht nicht,
Egal ob die Raps werden hetzig oder dreckig,
Deutsch mit dem Bier auf der Hand, so steh ich,
Was ist mit the continent change we work in ominous ways
Unbound by ya squares so go and box it away
Still here after dark when ya fireworks have died down
Waiting for the sunset still living in right now
CHORUS
Alive, we'd rather bleed if it means this art can be
Alive, from every artery to make a masterpiece
Alive, every part of me avoids the farce to be
Alive, at the heart of each bar keepin this heart is beatin'
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P44 Melbourne, Australia
Mad scientist/rapper born from the burnt-out husk of a eucalyptus tree in middle class Melbourne. Fled the country from a horde armed with pitchforks. Began writing things in 2003 and Hearing Things in 2016.
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