P44
Hi kids, do you like silence?
Good, ‘cos Con and I are about to spit everything that we haven’t done for the last five years,
So grab a couple light beers,
And use them to open of a couple of nine percent belgian white beers,

CON
I've been right here (where?) ya side mirror, (yeah!)
closer than I appear go ahead and try steer,
I just got a tattoo parlour artist for my ass with small instructions written in slavic translating to 'bite here'

P44
We didn’t write raps for sixteen years or more,
To not bring back your grandparents blitzkrieg fears of yore,
We didn’t read like Orlando and shoot the shit like we’re Rambo,
To not make a verse hectic as splitscreen Gears of War,
Didn’t give shit for years to get constipated now,
Didn’t disable the mute setting not to make a sound,
Didn’t fan the flames of conflict just to drown em out,
Didn’t bulldoze the fork in the road to take a roundabout,

CON
We didn't take ya cake to not drop sweet shit out our mouths,
n run naked w ur kids birthday presents out ur house,
didn't cause a power outtage on stage with out allowing
to pack a couple of strepsils n just attempt to shout it louder,
didn't say what I feel for ppl not to feel what I say,
didnt enter minds w rhymes to not peel ya brain,
didn't offend every culture not to earn us some fatwas,
and be carried off before the next verse of this track starts,

P44
I didn’t become an asshole in prep school and turn out smart and successful,
To go back to being harmless and gentle just to assuage the parentals,
If it means fulfilling half my potential, mumble mumble something mental
And another pretzel…

Do we look like the type to grab our nice shirt, write a really fucking white verse,
Like dear diary, yesterday I went rock climbing, then met some really nice girls,
Over free trade coffee and some iceberg, lettuce,
To discuss my mate’s Thai girl fetish,

CON
Sat at starbucks for 5 hours discussing 9/11
And how Trumps gonna fix it, then I ate hundreds of biscuits
And previously drowned out people should leave that water under their bridges
Drank some espresso martinis and watched alice in wonderland
Appropriated a culture I didn't fully understand
Invest in some stocks just to get off this bender and unwind
While I fill up my pipe and then gentrify Sunshine

P44
They say drive it like you stole it,
I say drive it like that shit belong to your ex’s dad and he extra mad,
Hit eject when the cop approach with a pen and pad,
Better land back in fkn Leningrad,
Tell Donald Trump that I came to fix the gender gap,
Plaster Brock Turner’s rapist face with a massive Brock Lesnar tatt,
Castrate every meninist and islamophobe screaming terrorist,
They fuckwits, no need for subscript or parenthesis,
They asking where I got the cookery from,
Fuck else you gonna do when the cookies are gone,
Better that than Croydon girls, hoodie and thongs,
Been bathing in the same fake tan cesspool Snooki was born,
Preggers at seventeen, can’t tell the kid from a can of shit,
But their Instagram is lit,
Well fuck that, can’t even babysit,
Chances so remote you’d switch the cable with

CON
Wellllll my name's Conny G and I'm versatile
I will raise the roof, then verse a tile
Tight with the rhymes with a perfect style
Hand right on the mic make it worth your while
Earn the smiles and guaranteed encores
Til the fellas drop jaws and the ladies drop more
I can get down like I got no flaws
But ya better watch out or we might lock horns
I can count to three in japanese, but what four?
When I get an itchy knee son, I'll give ya what's for!
I'll throw your watch on the roof, just to take up your time
I'll stick mascara in your ear, just to make up your mind

Ya girl cried when I gave her the world's best moisturiser
I said u haven't even opened it and look how moist your eyes are

Try to hit me a ham handed comment, I ate that
Try to hit me with a 2 by 4, I eight that