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Never Have I Ever

from Rappy Days by Con & P44

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lyrics

CHORUS (CON)
People you know I'd love to keep playing this game
But I'm getting shit-faced you guys are staying the same
Still the laughs are vast and the stories are getting wronger
We got draughts to last, so let's play a little longer

CON
Never have I ever – made an excuse to avoid weed
Taken a shit the opposite way on the toilet seat
Never have I ever Acted like a heartless bastard
Never have I ever Laughed so hard I sharted
Barfed onto a park bench, then kept scarfing lagers
Farted in front of ya father and passed out on ya armchair
Then woke up and acted clueless when ya mother's asking why her garden gnomes aren't there
- sorry mate some things aren't fair
Never have I ever – Got caught wanking in public
Or not gotten caught but still wanked in public
Nutted in her mouth when especially asked not to
“Wasn't she asleep?” well I can't promise that's not true
Never have I told a chick Germans are better lovers
Never have I ever Told a chick I'm allergic to rubbers
Never have I ever – barfed on a chicks muff
Never have I ever – fucked a dude's girl right after they split up
Never have I ever Played water sports, shaved along my balls
Paid for a whore, Played awful porn
Never have I ever Let Avril Lavine's album play on and on
Pissed off old Flannagan til he screamed stay off my lawn
Spiked the fuck out of my hair to try and be cool
Never have I ever - Started a fire in primary school
Enjoyed disney as an adult without alcoholic encouragement
Or made a mangina in the mirror for the fuck of it

CHORUS
People you know I'd love to keep playing this game
But I'm getting shit-faced you guys are staying the same
Still the laughs are vast and the stories are getting wronger
We got draughts to last, so let's play a little longer

Never have I ever played never have I ever with the express intent of impressing,
The next girl to get into her nethers,
Never have I ever gone extra on a bender,
Stacked my glasses on the bar and said I’m playing jenga
Never was I ever more ready to surrender,
My level-head agenda, than when I saw your sister getting nekid in the bed,
I never stood there with a semi in the centre of the room,
Then jetted when I blew/
Never have I ever told my boss that I was down with flu,
When I was sick on account of booze,
Never have I ever hacked Con’s facebook page,
Dissed his mum so his auntie’s called to make sure he’s ok/
Never have I ever had a girl on her rags around,
Left the tampon in, had sex, called it cat and mouse,
Never have I been confronted by a guy twice my size,
High off ice, and still ran my mouth.

CHORUS
People you know I'd love to keep playing this game
But I'm getting shit-faced you guys are staying the same
Still the laughs are vast and the stories are getting wronger
We got draughts to last, so let's play a little longer

P44
Never have I ever written a track, to get some shit off my back,
Published it, bitch out and had to quickly retract,
Never have I ever been sick in the sink of a flat,
Pissed on the mat and took a shit out the back
Never have I ever gotten to the end of a song,
Realised it went places it should never have gone,
But it’s late at night, things I did, can’t make ‘em right,
Forget it Con, you get it on, I’m off to revaluate my life,


CON
Never have I ever been abandoned in the booth from
a track that was meant to use -humour not facts -and just some rumours
Never have I blocked Sam when he hacked my facebook cunt
Told him I wasn't on facebook much masking my hate for a month
Never have I taken your recordings and changed them up
Revert your careful voice settings to the most basic ones
Never have I ever started a sentence with “I'm not racist but”
And never have I ever played this whilst making shit up

credits

from Rappy Days, released August 17, 2017
Produced by Con (C. Glissmann-Gough)
Recorded by Con (C. Glissmann-Gough) & P44 (S. Perrin) @ The Condominium
Mixed and Mastered by Ruxton (G. Tangey)

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about

P44 Melbourne, Australia

Mad scientist/rapper born from the burnt-out husk of a eucalyptus tree in middle class Melbourne. Fled the country from a horde armed with pitchforks. Began writing things in 2003 and Hearing Things in 2016.

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